Allan

bloating

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I’ve got a problem.  My stomach, since the poison-by-lemons incident in Korea, has been ill-tempered.  The slightest thing can upset it, and I experience bloating, rumbling (that distracts and amuses one student in particular), and gas.

So I came across this article.

How to Stop – And Prevent – Bloating

I thought, “Oh, I might find some of this article helpful” … until it started talking about my menstruation cycle.

Well crap.  I guess this article isn’t for me.

The Barn Dance

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This is the second-most ornery puzzle ever completed in this house.

The Barn Dance – Vista Puzzles
rearranging pieces

instant mashed potatoes (Rene food)

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We got this as part of the Rene food collection.

Uh … look closely at the better if used by date.  I thought it tasted a bit …. dark.  It was good, mind you, but just … different.

The question that would normally come to most people is, “Didn’t you see the date?”  No.  My question is, “How did Rene hold on to it for so long?”

should Canada absorb the United States

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I can’t help but comment on this buffoon down south, Donald Trump.

He has mentioned several times that he wishes Canada to become the 51st state.  He claims that the majority of Canadians want this, that the border is an artificially drawn line, that the United States carries Canada financially.  He wants to push Canada financially to join the US.

You have got to be kidding me!

So here’s my proposal.  We take over Alaska because, as you can see on maps, it really should be Canada’s.  We take over Detroit because it lies north of Canadian land (and should be absorbed by Windsor, ON).  While we’re at it, just take the entire state of Michigan.  We take over ownership of Cascadia as, culturally, it really does belong to Canada.  Minnesota has talked in the past about joining Canada, too.  Ontario Premier Doug Ford seems to think the same thing.

Why isn’t this guy dethroned as the idiot he is?

The Builder (a limerick)

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The Builder – by Allan Johnston – 2025-01-01

The Builder – Allan Johnston 20250101

There once was a guy named Allan
“The homelessness here is appallin’
I must do my bit
And I don’t give a shit
If they think that I’m wasting my betalen”

He though he had answered his callin’
Contractor bags he was haulin’
He fill them all up
‘Til they were about to rupt’
‘Cause plaster from walls was fallin’

He carted them down to the landing
Hard work, it is true, ‘twas demanding
Great bags full of white muck
Brought down on a fridge truck
And the dust in the air was expanding

Good boots and respirator he was wearing
As the dust in the air it was tearing
At his eyes and his ears
Yet he show nary fears
Though he pondered it might be a red herring

“What’s this for, what’s the reason to toil
To labour, to strain, and to moil?
To get sick from the dust
Wave my arms in disgust
For my health and well-being it could foil?

I work on and build floors and hang drywall
And I tape and I mud eight-foot-high wall
And I sand and I paint
Lord! the smell makes me faint
All this work just might be my downfall

But the answer I found it is clear
‘Tis the labour I value so dear
To work on past the dusk
Just like Elon Musk
For the vision I have is so near

It begins with a building permit
And expenses it’s true they can surfeit
And amongst all the clamour
I lost my best hammer!
But when finished it will all then be worth it

With this vision I work to the finish
My resolve to work on won’t diminish
More siding I acquire
Hang electrical wire
And I tape, mud, and sand to a linish (look it up!)

I order new triple-pane windows
How much did I pay, I won’t disclose
New appliances with sheen
Like a laundry machine
That will help my tenants wash their clothes

Now I see the results of my build
With all that I’ve learned from my guild
To let such a flat
To a woman with a cat
I believe my calling I’ve filled