Tuesday June 26, 2001
Yup. Everything is almost back to normal now. I’m learning some ins and outs of running Windows 2000 Advanced Server. There’s a lot to learn.
Hanmee’s dad and she got into a row today and yesterday. It turns out he eventually wants to buy us a house in Canada. A house! Well, it comes at much too high a cost – like our sanity. He seems to think that, if he buys us a house, he can own us, criticize us, tell us that we’re stupid and doing everything wrong, and tell us how to do it all the “right” way. Yah. His way. But we’re not him. He thinks that love is money. Giving money. Giving a house. Giving shit. I don’t want his shit. Hanmee and he yapped on the phone last night and this morning for a few hours. Hanmee’s complaint is that he’s replacing kind words, affection, and support with money, material things, and criticism. He thinks that the latter group of actions are forms of love. She thinks that they’re an old-world pattern from Confucius that doesn’t fit in today’s modern world, or at any rate in her world. It took a lot of tears, words, gut wrenching conversation, and courage on Hanmee’s part to convince him (and she eventually did) that it’s better to have an open, loving father than one who should remain bitter, not accept her way of thinking, and consider the father / daughter relationship dead until he really dies. His words – “How can you say such cruel words to your father when he’s going to die soon?” Her words – “You’re going to die eventually, if not soon; and this is why we have to create a real father / daughter relationship that isn’t based on money and favours but, rather, on feelings and understanding.”
The long and the short of it is, everyone else wants his help and money and accepts his piercing words in exchange. Hanmee doesn’t want the house. “Keep your house. It comes at too high a cost,” she says.
On a more pleasant note, 
is the place to view my mother’s memoirs of her trip to Korea. It’s only about one third done so far, but it’ll get done soon enough. Check it out, and let me know what you think.